为什么，我会害怕？
我敢说，还是不敢？
我自己，还有信心？
说出口，会怎样？
为什么， 我会在意？
为什么， 我会害怕？
突然我明白了，
我一直都在害怕，
害怕着，
我会掉泪。
*你，曾经为你身边的人想过吗？
他，想要得到底是什么？
不要让她害怕，不要让她流泪，
偶尔，写封信给他，也是一种安慰*
xiaolong
140610 9:27pm
The sixth sense 第六感
Again?
Maybe people who know me personally and close to me might know that i had sixth sense.Is it true? Hmmm... It sounds weird, but it depends on you to trust me or not. I would not say i'm totally correct, but i trust that i do have something called sixth sense that sometimes really hints me on something. Since yesterday, i felt uncomfortable. And yet i keep myself not to think too much, cheer up myself. Today, i do have the same feeling as well. I can't tell you exactly the feeling, something wrong, something might happen. Hmmm what gonna happen?. I did tell my dear about it, and yet later i do receive some message telling me something bad happen. Hmmm......
有些人，不会相信你！
有些人，觉得你可笑！
第六感，到底是什么？
谁能解释，谁能相信？
谁能理解，谁能忍受？
~~~~~~~
小龙
07062010 8:09pm
想要的
我，很想弹钢琴，
按着黑白琴键，
奏出生命的配乐，
唱出我们的情歌。
我，很想用旋律，
一天一点点地，
把我们的每一天，
编成一首属于我们的歌。
我，确实说不在意，
我，的确说不在乎，
没想过，我会难过，
很想说，我怕来不及。
小龙
06062010 1:31pm
来不及
习惯一个人看戏
习惯一个人旅行
习惯一个人静静想你
想你现在在哪里
想你会为谁担心
想你是否已忘记
忘记那段爱情
忘记那颗泪滴
忘记了所有不该忘的回忆
我来不及将你的手紧紧握着
对你说我只想要我们能快乐
曾以为少了你的陪伴不算什么
怎么我微笑着 心却是痛的
我来不及将记忆中的你消除了
我明白错过的从此难以复合
如果眼泪能够证明我是爱你的
那么重新选择是不是来不及了
忘记那段爱情忘记那颗泪滴
忘记了所有不该忘的回忆
我来不及将你的手紧紧握着
对你说我只想要我们能快乐
曾以为少了你的陪伴不算什么
怎么我微笑着 心却是痛的
我来不及将记忆中的你消除了
我明白错过的从此难以复合
如果眼泪能够证明我是爱你的
那么重新选择是不是来不及了
我来不及将你的手紧紧握着
对你说我只想要我们能快乐
曾以为少了你的陪伴不算什么
怎么我微笑 着心却是痛的
我来不及将记忆中的你消除了
我明白错过的从此难以复合
如果眼泪能够证明我是爱你的
那么重新选择是不是来不及了
我还是来不及了
想，当你拥有的时候，你有珍惜过吗？
想，当你有多忙碌的时候，你有关心过她吗？
想，当他微笑的时候，是否心是快乐的吗？
不要 “来不及”， 才把眼泪证明你是爱她的。
小龙
04062010 3:05pm
04062010 3:05pm
Medical Statistics
Something that i start to fall in love with...Statistics...
I think i'm lucky and i believe as a fate. I'm currently having my internship training at the School of Medical Sciences USM at Kota Bharu, Kelantan (my lovely homewtown). It's just 30 minutes of driving away from my house. I register myself on the 10 of May sharp at 8am. And i have been placed at the Unit of Biostatistics and Research Methodology.
I get the only chance to talk to my intern' supervisor on 11am after i waited for him in the office for almost 3 hours. I only can said that he is such a busiest person i ever met. Doctors, researchers, and students will wait for him start from the early morning, just to have a discussion on statistics. He will never be alone in the room but yet his room is full with all those person. Not only for one day but for everyday. Is it he is so famous?... I could say, YES...but he is not famous because of his good singing, or dancing or even acting...but yet his knowledge on medical and statistics.
Medical statistics is a Postgraduate Program in School of Medical Sciences. It absolutely different from the field as what i'm doing for my degree. Is a new challenge, new experience and a new inspiration for me. I get to know that medical statistics is important especially for doctors and researcher in doing their studies and research for journals publication. And there are only limited person who are expert in medical statistics. (that's why his room is always full with VISITORs).
I had been given a task in doing medical statistics analysis on HIV. It seems to be easy but yet it is not as what i thought. I had been given a task same as the Master's Thesis. I need to do my research just within two months! can i make it? I'm wondering...
But all of the postgrad here are really helpful, i deal with a lot intelligent people around, medical doctors, researchers, lab assistant, professors...
Just for a month here, i start to fall in love in Medical statistics. I even get a few invitation in doing my postgrad here, as well my supervisor are offering me to further my study under him. What a big offer i get...haha...
A new inspiration for me to fight for my own. My dream will come true? Is all depend on hardwork and sometimes LUCK...
xiaolong
04062010 12:32am
心酸
昨天，跟妈聊天，很久很久没有跟妈两个人聊天，平时都是通过电话，现在难的假期，不过还要实习。
妈告诉我说，“我和你爸在大哥家是没事做就想多多了，讲了很多。” 你爸还问我：
爸：如果有一天我死了，你会怎样？
妈：还能怎样？就一个人住在老家啊！
爸：你女儿，儿子会让你一个人住吗？当然不会留你一个人的。
妈：我比较习惯住这里，最多有空去他们家走走。
爸：你跟谁住都可以，我就不能。
妈：哪，如果有一天我死了，你要跟谁住？
爸：我？我回去庙过日子，去那边听佛经，人都会比较心静。
妈：他们那会给你去？一定叫你跟他们一起住。
爸：如果我要，他们是不会stop 我的。而且我不能跟他们住。
妈：为什么？
爸：我又不像你，会煮饭，会clean house.
妈：哈哈，我们两个想太远了吧。
爸：不会咯，有一天我们会分开的。我会先去，我有病。
妈：你有病，我没有病？
是你的话听了会怎样？我无话可说, 只能静静的。
p/s: 我是流着泪写的
speechless
最近真的很忙，压力也很大。
病了，看医生，还要验血，发高烧。
病了，没时间读，考到烂成绩，自己活该！
Assignment 还没做完，Project due date 就要到了。
很抱歉不能抽时间陪你，是我的错。
说真的，昨天发生的事，我真的不能接受，太突然，很辛苦，
到现在我的心还是流着泪。
谁知道？难道这叫做我不在乎你？
很想问你十万个为什么!
好心疼。
温馨
终于有时间写blog了，才发现我已经没update很久了。
上了第二学年，真的忙到！！！
功课真的很多，多到！！！
哈哈，真的分配不到自己的时间。身边的朋友都有问到，你好象很久没 update blog 了， 几时要update。
现在终于机会了，新年嘛，就有时间咯。。。哈哈
可是为什么我会把温馨作为题目呢？
其实，这几天，去了不少长辈的家拜年，也不算是拜年，是拜访吧。发现有的真的老了，开始没力了，看了有点心酸，但我可以做什么呢？一年只有一次机会去探望他们，但以后呢？还会有人去探望他们吗？有的孩子，都没回来过年，到底是他们之间发生了什么事？本人只是感到好奇，为什么年轻人不能够宽容易一点。回家过年有那么难吗？没有了自己的父母，那会有我们呢？
在家的感觉的确是不一样，吃的喝的，看的听的，都有特别的感觉。家庭的温暖。
虎年，又是新的一年，或许每个人都会有个愿望，但最重要的还是身体健康，平平安安。
很久没写了，真地想不出东西来，哈哈。
重而言之，过年客一回家就回家，即使是一天也好，父母说不介意，可是他们会很在意的。年轻的就让让他们吧。
新年快乐——2010
Can i make it?
Is not the first time, yet the last.
It had been happen quite a lot of times. Sometimes sweet, sometimes it taste bitter. I don't know why it taste so. When things goes wrong, no matter how you do, when, or what you do. Sometimes there is no second chance for you in your life. I am learning and appreciate all the things that i had at the moment, but sometimes i loose it from my own palm.
Trying so hard. But it getting worst. What else i could do? Another sleepy but can't sleep night..how long it will be continue like this..it's time for me to stop..can i make it? I'm tired of it. Like a locker keep locking, and finally it die in the locked hand..Sometimes sweet, sometimes bitter..What kind of taste is it?
I'm really tired, wish to close my eyes and the thing will gone. But the reality is still there tomorrow. I afraid of facing it. Can i make it?
When the plate is served full with tasty dishes, we
are enjoying, but when the food is off, remaining only the dirty plate. We only can kept it clean by washing it again and again. But why when a plate fall down to the floor, it will break up?
People are always not satisfied with what they had. They even want it more and more. Sometimes is a positive things, but sometimes it would not be the right thing.
Today i make the decisions, the decisions to leave.
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